“For as a man thinketh in his subconscious mind, so is he.”Joseph Murphy
Have you ever wondered how some people are happy most of the time and others not? How someone has the audacity to get up, smile, and continue improving him/herself after being told that his/her project is a failure? How one person is so anxious about what’s going to happen next, and the other so calm and at peace on whatever life would throw at his/her way?
These questions are very familiar to me, and I used to ask them every single day. Whenever I meet people who have happy and sweet dispositions, I would replay these questions in my mind over and over again until I get tired and get frustrated eventually about how come I am not like them?
Everything I’ve mentioned above, I’ve realized, all boils down to the inner workings of our subconscious mind. We have the conscious and subconscious mind that work for us every single day. And according to Joseph Murphy in his book “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” he amazingly puts it this way: the conscious mind is the captain and master of the ship while the subconscious mind are the men in the engine room who takes the orders from the captain. Now these men don’t know where they’re going so they take the captain’s commands religiously. This is exactly what our conscious and subconscious mind are currently doing. Whatever we put in our conscious mind, our subconscious mind believes and follows it.
Now our subconscious mind is very powerful. It is working 24/7 — whenever we’re awake or asleep. And it is responsible for all the vital processes of our body. It has infinite intelligence and a magical working power to materialize whatever it is that we believe.
“Whatever you impress on your subconscious mind is expressed on the screen of space as conditions, experiences, and events.” – Joseph Murphy
So if we keep on thinking negative things about ourselves, it will become the belief that we agree on with our life and we would continue to live with these limitations we set to ourselves every single day — unless we do something about it.
I’m sure there are still tons of negative thoughts that we should get rid of, but here are the five thoughts that I would like to tackle based on personal experiences.
- “I am Never Good Enough.”
The first negative thought we should get rid of is none other than the famous, “I’m never good enough.” I’m pretty sure at some point in our lives we have uttered these words verbally or silently, and we felt pretty much the unluckiest person in the world.
Let me tell you, you are enough. If you’re looking for a sign or anything that confirms you are enough, then this is it. You are freakin’ enough! You’re very own being is enough. A million times enough, and God loves you for who you are. That’s what really matters, and sometimes we forget that or don’t really take that into account.
Although there is nothing wrong with trying to be the best version of ourselves or trying to achieve something that we want or improve something with in our lives, however, the moment we beat ourselves for not being the kind of person our society tell us to be, then that’s the moment when we have to stop, reflect, and tell ourselves that: “I am enough. I am working to be better but I am enough. If you tell me that I am not enough then it’s you who doesn’t see yourself as enough for you or for someone else. Whatever you say about me is not a reflection of who I am but a reflection of who you are.”
And let me tell you again, you are enough in every single way.
- “Something Bad is Gonna Happen.”
A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a funny post about this. It’s states: “The Fuckening: when everything is going well in the day but you keep on thinking that something bad is going to happen. When that something bad finally arrives, you’d say, Ah it’s the fuckening, I’ve been waiting for this.”
This is actually a bit funny as well because I have a friend who is honestly like this (and yes, I’ve been like this as well). You know, whenever we’re laughing out loud or having fun, she would say that we should stop it because we’d cry later on. Tho it’s somehow been proven that sometimes life’s funny like that, I’ve come to realize that we really should get that thought out of our mind, because that entails we are not living in the present moment.
We are always on the lookout for the future, and that’s fine, but dwelling on it for a long time is hella bad for our mental health. Thinking about the future causes anxiety; thinking about the past causes regret. The only thing for us to do to LIVE, is to be in the present moment. Enjoy the moment while it’s there, simple as that. And the more we think about something bad is going to happen, the more it’s really gonna happen because we are sending negative vibes out to the universe.
So, let’s just send good vibes out to the universe so the universe will send us back good vibes as well. This equation is very simple, but honestly, takes a lot of willpower to follow. Hope we always practice this muscle!
- “No One Loves Me.”
First and the most important thing you should remember, God loves you with all His heart that He gave His only begotten son to save you. That’s how much God loves you, and these earthly love that we yearn for couldn’t compare to how much and how big our Heavenly Father loves us. His love is enough.
Second, your family and friends love you — with all their heart. Sometimes they have a funny way of expressing it. You know, most of the time, we yearn for romantic love; and when we don’t get it, we feel so unloved. I hope in times like that when you feel so unwanted, you’d think of your parents and family (blood-related or not), who were there for you since the very beginning. They love you and they want to care for you. Think of your friends and know that they love you no matter how much of a pain in the ass you are.
Because honestly, true love is not just about mere feelings, it’s about the commitment to taking care of and doing for others. I mean, yes, feelings are important, but love functions regardless of feelings. In the wise words of Mark Sanborn, “I have learned that love is, among other things, an action.” I hope we always remember that.
Love God first, love others second, and love yourself last. But I would say, Love God first, love yourself next so that you can give love to others.
- “I always fail. I’m going to quit!”
“You have not failed until you quit trying.” – Gordon B. Hinckley
I think that most of us feel like quitting in times when we don’t see results that quickly. I mean, in my case, this has been my dilemma. I stop doing something if I don’t see results in just like, a few days or so. And that’s the problem. I’m always in a hurry. I’m always on a sprint, that I don’t realize that life is not a sprint, it is a marathon. Small steps to the right direction is the key. Constantly doing something is the answer to growth and development. Showing up every single day is the one thing we should all do to achieve our goal.
Suffice it to say, I was very impatient back then. Right now, I still am impatient from time to time, but I always tell myself that I am in this thing for the long run. I just need to show up every single day and take small steps to the direction I want to go. When there is patience, there is perseverance. Everything we are doing must be handled with perseverance or else we’ll explode and quit. Been there, done that, and it was hella messy.
Thomas Edison is a pretty good example of a person who has worked rhythmically together with patience and perseverance. Imagine, 10,000 tries and he still couldn’t find the right material for the incandescent light bulb. But he kept going. With every attempt he discovers what didn’t work, which brings him closer to a solution. In his wise words, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
I hope we don’t give up. I hope that every time we turn on the light, we are reminded of Thomas Edison, the man who didn’t give up; the man who saw his “failures” as stepping stones to the right destination.
There’s always light. Just keep on walking.
- “She’s So Much Better Than Me.”
This is something we always hear ourselves saying in our mind.
“She’s living my dream life! Ahh f*ck my lyf.”
“Ugh she’s queen and I’m a potato.”
Appreciating someone for where and what they have in life at the moment is one thing, appreciating them and then cursing yourself for not having that kind of life is another thing. And mostly, in this generation or age, the latter is more rampant.
Constant comparison is making everyday life a whole lot heavier. And it honestly doesn’t help that even our own family, our own parents, compare us to other much better people every single day.
“Look at our neighbor’s daughter, she has straight A’s!”
“Mabuti pa si *anak ni tita/tito mo* honor student, ikaw?”
“Si *anyone* napakamabuting bata.” And then cue the deep sigh.
And then every time we go online, we scroll through Instagram or Facebook and we see these different posts about travelling, different adventures, getting these latest techs, updated with the latest trend, and the constant sharing of their shiny, shimmering gizmos. We’re scrolling through all of these things while we’re on our bed, we haven’t taken a shower for two days because we basically got no plans over the weekend, and we’re munching on some junk food. It really would take a toll on our self-esteem.
But let me tell you, stop looking at these posts if you’re only gonna beat yourself up. STOP. Gett off that social network and give yourself a pep talk.
Go to a mirror and evaluate yourself. If you can’t think of any good thing to say to yourself at the moment, then fine, flush out those negative things. Pour them all out. Now if you’re done, look at yourself once again. And say this to yourself, “But I don’t have to always live/look/feel this way.”
After you’ve internalized those words, go get a pen or paper, and then list down the things you could do to change the way you feel about yourself. Instead of dwelling on being frustrated about yourself, move and work on getting better.
You can scroll again through your newsfeed, but don’t see other people’s lifestyle or achievements as competition. See them as inspiration for your journey. Just always remember, you are in this for the long run. Small steps will lead you a hundred miles from where you are compared to no steps at all.
Smile and tell yourself, we’ll get there eventually. Just enjoy the journey while we still can.
So, those are the five things we should always get rid off in our mind. They’re no use for us, and they’re only there to keep us from being the person we want to become. They’re the resistance. They’re the distraction. I hope we don’t give in to them, or if we do, I hope we’d right away get the strength to get right back up and continue with our journey.
Also — always remember to be very impeccable with your word. Especially the words you tell yourself. Always be kind. According to a Japanese proverb, “One kind word can warm three winter nights.”
So always be kind.
Get these negative thoughts out of your mind.
Shoo them away like how Meghan Trainor shoo them boys away in her song “NO”.
I believe in you.